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The new Fuller House teaser sounds like stray cats and banjos if you slow it down

The new Fuller House teaser sounds like stray cats and banjos if you slow it down

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I don't know if you've heard, but Full House is coming back! The new take on your favorite family sitcom is called Fuller House, and it hits Netflix on February 26th. That's more than a month away, but we can all take some safe guesses at what kinds of things the new (old) show will feature, like: Catch phrases! A ventriloquist woodchuck doll! Heartwarming examinations of how age inspires social differences and sometimes personal growth!

But because massive, money-making movies like Star Wars: The Force Awakens have gotten so good at teasing fans by parceling tiny reveals into trailers (and trailers for trailers), why not do the same for Fuller House? People only get really excited when you withhold information. (Whatever happened to predictability, anyway?)

Whatever happened to predictability?

The newest 14-second teaser is the latest in a series of teasers for the show's debut, and it shows the cast hanging out in that famous living room in San Francisco — possibly moments after the last teaser ended with them all arriving at the door. (Continuity!) For some reason, we hear everyone's mumblings and cross-talk mixed as loud, or even louder than, that good old theme song. (Whatever happened to "peas and carrots?" Actually, while I'm asking questions, whatever happened to Carly Rae's new version of the theme song?)

Before you click, may I suggest something? You may or may not know that YouTube has built-in speed settings these days, hidden up there behind the little gear button, next to the option to watch it in 4K. I propose two options. You can watch this teaser at 2x speed, thusly ending the experience a merciful seven seconds early. Or, you can watch it at 0.25x speed, which turns the 14-second clip into a minute-long nightmare soundtrack. (You can imagine, from the headline, which one I prefer.)

The choices are yours, and yours alone.