It's probably not easy being B.o.B. You might remember that terrible song "Airplanes" he did with Paramore's Hayley Williams and Eminem back in 2010. You might not remember his 2015 album Psycadelik Thoughtz, because no one paid attention to it. In any case, B.o.B. might be trying to get back in that sweet, sweet spotlight, because recently he's joined a small but vocal minority of celebrities (like Tila Tequila) who are convinced the Earth is flat.
#FlatEarth is a thing now
This may seem preposterous to you. You thought this debate was long settled. You thought all those photos NASA has released of the Earth from space were real photos of the real Earth. Well, actually, you're right. But B.o.B. has some other thoughts. His main argument that the Earth is flat seems to be that the horizon always looks like a straight line in his Instagram pics.
One person who answered B.o.B.'s call to "explain this" was astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, who loves getting in Twitter fights and he loves proving people wrong — even, or maybe especially, at the expense of fun. So Tyson spent part of yesterday trying to explain to B.o.B. why he was wrong, via a series of tweets, which are not generally known for their ability to inspire rational discussion or provide a useful educational tool.
Tyson's facts achieved the effect of nothing, and it seemed things were going to keep, er, spinning along as always. Until last night, when B.o.B. responded to Tyson in the form of a diss track. The track, called "Flatline," samples a NdGT speech in which he talks about the Earth being an "oblate spheroid," which honestly does sound suspicious.
Okay, it's not really a great song, and the sample of an EKG monitor beeping just feels grating after the dozenth time you hear it. But I, for one, feel like we could all use more songs that are vaguely and confusingly about several conspiracy theories. "Rappers get off of my dick, get your own bars up / Now the mirror lizard’s breath got the clones scared," he raps. "Why is NASA department of defense? / They divided up the seas into thirty-three degrees / Feeding kids masonry, bruh, be careful what you read." But it's hard to argue with logic that is just words strung together, so maybe B.o.B. just made the smartest move of all.
At this point, it wouldn't be surprising if Tyson released his own diss track in response. I'm not saying I want that, but the beauty of conspiracy theories is that anything is possible, as long as you believe.
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