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Earth: the ultimate rideable

Rideables have invaded this year's CES. Personal hoverboards that respond to the body's slightest movements and foldable electric scooters that zoom over 15 mph are making it easier for us mere humans to get from A to B. I have to say, I've been pretty impressed with all the products I've tested this year in Las Vegas. But if I had to pick my favorite rideable on display here this year, one has clearly stood out among the rest: the planet Earth.

In terms of speed, the Earth sets the industry standard. It zooms through the vacuum of space at 18.5 miles per second. That just completely destroys any other rideable on the market right now — gas-powered or electric. If that seems too fast for you, don't worry. Earth comes with good electronic stability control, and you'll only feel about 1 g during your ride. It has good turning ability too, though it's rather slow. It takes up to 12 hours to complete a U-turn, which isn't ideal, but I've been assured that the speed is important for helping it achieve peak environmental performance.

It's virtually impossible to fall off of Earth

Earth is super consumer friendly, too. It takes no time at all to acclimate to the speed or the trajectory. It almost feels as if you've been riding it your whole life. It's also virtually impossible to fall off of Earth. You literally have to reach escape velocity in order to dismount. Knowing that makes me feel pretty safe using the Earth as my primary form of transportation.

Its impressive battery life can't be ignored either. Earth's primary battery pack — the Sun — is guaranteed to last more or less 4 billion years. That's way longer than any other rideable I've seen. But like the batteries on many cheap hoverboards, the Sun is prone to explosion. I guess that's what you get when you use nuclear fusion.

Another big issue is that the overall consumer lifespan is prone to user error. Apparently, the more carbon dioxide you put into Earth's atmosphere, the greater the chances of death and starvation while riding it. That definitely feels like information customers should be given up front.

Collision avoidance is also a concern — albeit a small one. Earth is unable to detect or get out of the way of asteroids that may be blocking its route. Maybe Earth should partner with Intel. Fortunately, the asteroids that I've encountered while riding Earth have been pretty small and have caused little to no damage. But there's always the possibility that a bigger one might come along, and if that happens, I'm told by the company that the Earth won't last. But a spokesperson assured me the chances of that happening is about 0.01 percent for the next 100 years. I'll take those odds

Even with these big caveats, it's hard to beat the price of Earth. It's totally free. That's insane given the prices some of these other companies are asking for. Delivery isn't a concern either. The manufacturers eschew typical distributers like Amazon. The thing just shows up under your feet, without having to place an order. That makes Earth the perfect rideable, in my opinion, from conception and design to manufacture and delivery.

Check out my hands on with Earth below!


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