Black Mirror is out on Netflix today. Should I tell you the twist about [REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED]? Just kidding, I don't know all the twists but I'm sure they have something to do with our collective impending doom. Luckily we can pass the time until the apocalypse hits with Jake Gyllenhaal movies and high-def footage of all of the Earth's most beautiful places that we haven't yet destroyed with our human-ness.
In less than three minutes, this Assassin’s Creed trailer features a hawk soaring over a city, men tumbling off the tops of buildings, weapons aggressively being clipped onto a man’s body in a dimly lit room, and the line, "The party’s just getting started." Sidenote: Has anyone ever said that about an actual party? It’s out January 1st, 2017.
Into the Inferno
Do you want to listen to Werner Herzog narrate a documentary about volcanoes? Pretty sure the answer will always be yes. It’s on Netflix October 28th.
Planet Earth II
Ah, Planet Earth. The BBC show for stoners and people who love nature and stoners who love nature. It’s been 10 years since the first Planet Earth came out, and even though in that time it has often seemed like the planet is only one bad day away from self-destruction, it’s nice to know there’s still some pretty stuff to look at out there. The series is out in the UK next month.
And another trailer for Arrival! It doesn’t give us much of a closer look than any of the other Arrival trailers, but at least it won't let you forget that they aliens are coming and Amy Adams is our only hope. It’s out on November 11th, 2016.
Honestly what is Logan about? A man named Logan who broodingly drinks beer in a cemetery, according to this trailer. Also mutants. Sounds great! It’s in theaters March 3rd, 2017.
Barry, short for Barack, short for Barack Obama, short for Barack Obama, 44th President of the United States of America. He was just a kid in some bell-bottoms once, and that is what this is about. It arrives on Netflix December 16th.
Tom Ford's movie about Jake Gyllenhaal being an adorable boy. JK, I think it's about murder and deception. It's out November 18th, 2016.