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Facebook is telling everyone that they’re dead

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Facebook is capping one of the longest weeks in American history by telling everyone that they are dead. Log on to your profile and there’s a good chance it will have a memorial banner sitting on top of it, urging your friends and family members to remember you. “We hope people who love Casey will find comfort in the things others share to remember and celebrate his life,” the banner reads, because I am dead.

Other people who are dead include everyone.

Our condolences to everyone who is dead, and to everyone who would have mourned them, if they were not dead. But dead they are. It has been an honor and a pleasure living on this planet with you all.

Facebook did not immediately respond to a request for comment, likely because everyone there is dead.

UPDATE, 5:15 p.m.: A spokesperson told the Wall Street Journal that everyone has been brought back to life — a move the company will almost certainly regret. “For a brief period today, a message meant for memorialized profiles was mistakenly posted to other accounts. This was a terrible error that we have now fixed. We are very sorry that this happened and we worked as quickly as possible to fix it.”

UPDATE, 5:32 p.m.: A spokesperson just emailed us the same statement.