Final Fantasy XV, I have a problem with your car.
Don’t get me wrong. The Regalia is a fine-looking ride for any prince and his band of leather-clad bros. I really appreciate its customizable looks, from decals to detailing. I adore filling my glove compartment with Final Fantasy albums for those long road trips. But, seriously, where are its seat belts?
There’s nothing I love more than watching these sweet soft boys head out on a road trip. What I do not enjoy is watching cocky little Noctis clamber up on the back of the convertible, legs splayed, as he showboats for every passing car and cactuar.
Okay, I lied a little. I do enjoy hitting the brakes and watching everyone pitch forward, like so:
alright who's not wearing their seatbelt pic.twitter.com/NpoXOt9uLn— Megan Farokhmanesh (@Megan_Nicolett) December 1, 2016
It’s not just your broody, bad boy prince, either. Prompto gets a little fidgety during rides. He’s constantly wiggling around, or snapping pics, or blatantly disregarding all traffic or safety laws to get more face time with his friends.
I feel you, Prompto. I too get bored easily on long trips. But I worry about what will happen to you if Ignis gets distracted thinking about recipes and plows into a chocobo crossing the road. What about when Noctis is driving at night, and a level 30 daemon materializes in the middle of the road because no one cares about Ignis’ warnings? What about me, your trickster player-god, who loves to drive real fast and then hit the brakes for lulz?
I could go on, but many people on Twitter have voiced these concerns more eloquently than I ever could.
Noctis and Prompto you little shits fucking sit in your god damn seat and put on a seatbelt before you fly out the damn car— Alison (Ali) B. (@Alisaurer) November 30, 2016
Alright, so clearly Final Fantasy XV has measures in place, seat belts or not, that won’t let any of our favorite babes go flying hair-first through the Regalia windshield. But still, could someone give these dudes a ticket? A sharp scolding?
I’m looking at you, Ignis. You’re wearing driving gloves, for god’s sake.