Here at The Verge, we’ve covered Apple’s iOS 10.2 update extensively. We were thrilled at the prospect of finally getting the all important “shrug” emoji, thereby rendering all annoying copy and pasting of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ obsolete. We discussed the critical update to the peach emoji, which removed its ill-advised, realistic rounding and returned it to the butt shape we all know and love.
However, I would personally like to apologize for not informing readers of this impending nightmare. Please cover the children’s eyes and brace yourselves for the “lying face” emoji.
The lying face emoji is, clearly, meant to evoke the nightmare tale of Pinocchio, a fibbing puppet boy whose nose grows every time he tells a tall tale. But one question: where are its nostrils? What kind of nose comes unequipped for basic smell duties?
In this face, the cartoonish emoji of the past intersect with the more realistic emoji of the future, and the result is the emoji equivalent of the opening sequence of Final Destination 2. A genuine horror show. Seriously, just take a look again. Here, I’ve blown this photo up even more. I’d like to know what purpose that front-placed towel rack could possibly serve.
The best thing we can do is ignore this emoji until Apple gives it the mercy killing it deserves. I know you’ll probably want to try out all the new emoji, including the new animals, foods, and so on. But first, let us join hands and scream “Not today, Satan!” until we drive this Gonzo-faced bozo back into the darkness from whence it came.
But fear not, for there is still some good in the world. Just look at these two sweet babies, the drool emoji (me thinking about burritos) and the barf emoji (me after eating too many burritos).
Barfing emoji, it’s not your fault. You poor little guy.