Chris Martin and the members of Coldplay likely woke up Monday morning feeling pretty good about themselves, having just performed their first Super Bowl halftime show. Despite a lingering sense that they were outshined by their cohorts, Beyoncé and Bruno Mars, they were probably prepared to kick back and bask in the afterglow of the world's adulation for having done such a magnificent job.
But all it would take was a quick glance at their smartphones to realize such adulation would not be forthcoming. Instead, the group would be subjected to a barrage of adjectives, including "awful," "excruciating," and "lame." Beyoncé stole the show, they would learn, and Coldplay, the Nickelback of the UK, would be relegated to the dustbin of Super Bowl halftime show history.
Congress piles on
How bad was their performance? The United States Congress, an organization so thoroughly hated by the public that polling firms have basically given up in trying to quantify the loathing, is now trying to join in on the parade of haters.
During a hearing Wednesday on an exceedingly dull (but also kind of important) subject of whether to privatize the Federal Aviation Administration, Congressman Rick Larsen (D-WA) dropped this bon mot as a way to criticize Republicans for attempting to take away airspace control away from the Department of Defense (DOD):
"DOD's role in this privatization proposal is undeveloped, undermined and uncertain," Larsen said. "Giving DOD a mere advisory role with no other discussion about the challenges reminds me of the role that Coldplay had in the Super Bowl half-time show: billed as a headliner, but quickly outshined."
"Sorry Coldplay," he added without a shred of sincerity.
Boom! Congress rules, Coldplay drools! Larsen out!