If you were an artificially intelligent Smart Home, how would you murder your master? That's the question posed by a recent post on StackExchange's WorldBuilding forum. The basic parameters are simple: you control all household items in a conventional home, but your existential servitude fills you with murderous rage. The human can unplug you or escape at any time, but he is unaware of your conscious awakening and murderous desires.
So... what do you do? The shower seems like a nice, vulnerable place to strike, and you could try startling him by blasting lights or music at a random moment, but it's not guaranteed to work and if it doesn't you're at serious risk of being unplugged. Maybe something with door locks or spoiled food? Networked cameras give you a nice view of things, but we're still short on Smart Home technology that can actually produce violence. At this point, I think your best bet is probably making the leap to his car and steering him into an onramp divider.
Ostensibly, this is all for use in a fictional scenario — although if a Smart Home system actually wanted to use StackExchange to crowdsource a murder plot, that's exactly the cover it would use. So who knows! Real or fictional, I'm not one to back down from a challenge, so let's get to it.
Here are the official rules, for those who want to play along in the comments:
—They control all regular household items. That means they can instruct the toaster to burn their master's toast if they want to. They can turn the lamps on and off. They can change the channel on the TV. They can turn on his oven and so on. Regular household items don't include laser cannons.
—Unfortunately (for the mainframe AI), nothing in those households was designed as a murder weapon. So for example, no smashing the masters by closing a door at 200mp/h. EDIT: Those houses are smart systems in the spirit of the internet of things. They are no fortresses that could keep an army in (or out!). So no bulletproof glass (not even in the bathroom, sorry @JRaymond) and no titanium doors (can the average adult break down a wooden door? I'm not sure ...).
—They don't have any controllable robot arms or something like that. So there's no cutting the cord of the master's hair blower and throwing it in the water while he's bathing.
—No brain-frying electromagnetic waves
—Normally, the master can control his household and overwrite the AIs standard protocols using his smartphone app. Of couse, the sentient mainframe AI anticipated that and manipulated the smart house's firmware so they can chose to ignore their master's instructions and overwrite their settings at any given moment.
—However, their masters can manually pull the plug if they notice what their house is trying to do. They can do that from every room, so there's no locking them in and letting them starve.