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Poop emoji Peeps — do you need these or no?

"Let's get poopin!"

Nomageddon

It is nearly Easter, and you know what that means: lots of stuff, if you're religious, and two things if you're not — ham and candy! The best Easter candy is the gross-in-concept but delightful-in-my-mouth Cadbury Creme Egg, and the worst Easter candy is the tiny eggs that you think are chocolate but they're gum. Somewhere in the middle is the Peep. Peeps are an acceptable candy, and they are festive.

If you want to make your own Peeps, well, that's interesting because they are available in packs of 16 for less than two dollars basically anywhere! If you want to make your own poop emoji-shaped Peeps, my response to that is, "Yum, I guess," "Okay sure!" or "Do you have young cousins or something?" depending on my mood.

okay, sure!

Additionally, after reading this recipe for poop emoji-shaped Peeps, my response is, "Well, good luck with that, smarty!" The recipe is over 1,700 words long. That is partly because the author of the recipe spends a lot of time expressing what might be considered "opinions," rather than "steps in a recipe."

They are the candy corn of Easter candy. Some people hate em, some people love em. I for one love them. They are crunchy on the outside and soft and fluffy on the inside. How could that be a bad thing?!

Well, first of all, jelly beans are the candy corn of Easter candy! Second of all, please recalibrate your definition of "crunchy." Otherwise this is an accurate description.

The author also runs into some trouble in describing his process in a manner that feels helpful. Here are some select quotes from the poop Peep emoji recipe that really made me wonder if the whole thing is just a prank and there is a candid camera set up in my kitchen:

I did this by, first, pouring the sugar into a mason jar. To do this without making a mess, I simply made a cone out of printer paper and used it as a funnel

Lastly, we need to add some flavor, and instead of making it taste like something that came out of your chocolate starfish, we're just going to make it chocolate.

You are going to need a lot of drops to get the deep brown color of a turd. It took 125 drops to achieve this and I'm not sure what that is in teaspoons.

It’s surprisingly easy you just need a few things.

The recipe makes 15 to 20 poopeeps. The estimated prep time for this project is 40 minutes, and the estimated cook time is 20 minutes. There are approximately 904 required ingredients and instruments for this recipe, most of which I would be shocked to learn that you already own.

I am a human being with a heart. I understand that the way we live now is in constant reference to one meme or another. I know that handing someone a poop emoji Peep would be funny and translate into a popular Instagram post. But, in the end this feels like one of those projects where, regardless of how nice the final product looks, people will feel that you're a little unhinged for having exerted so much effort.

Additionally, chocolate Peeps already look like the poop emoji.

chocolate peeps