A recent tweet from Kid Rock, in which the elderly rockstar gives the bird to authority by wearing a bowling shirt at the State Court, inspired an epiphany that I would like to the share with y'all.
Follow my logic:
Since Kid Rock has a kid, he himself is no longer a kid.
Since Kid Rock has a kid, he is now a dad.
Kid Rock is now Dad Rock.
Hey, authority: pic.twitter.com/7chEAS0cGq— Kid Rock (@KidRock) April 12, 2016
This discovery only raises more questions: When will Kid Rock become the lead singer of Wilco? Does Kid Rock believe Music from Big Pink is the greatest artistic achievement in history or simply the best artistic album ever? How often does Kid Rock stay up past Fallon's monologue?
My heart aches for Dad née Kid Rock, who has had to shift from trash-talking free spirit to goofball patriarch who wears embarrassing hats. Having the name Dad Rock is maybe the least rockstar thing you could do, other than say, appear on CBS Sunday Morning. Which Dad Rock did. I can't lie; I loved the segment. Then again, I'm approaching dad rock age.
You should watch for yourself.