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In Stephen King’s new movie, curmudgeons inherit the earth

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If everyone in the world was assembled into a hive mind that was controlled by a rogue cellphone signal, do you think that would be better or worse than how brains work currently?

Stephen King, the author of a novel that operates on the assumption that not everyone owns a cellphone, thinks it would be a lot worse. Eli Roth, a man known for directing Hostel and briefly owning a haunted house in Las Vegas, thought it would be a great horror movie, if nothing else. He later changed his mind, leaving Tod Williams (known for directing Paranormal Activity 2 six years ago) to consider Cell a good idea for a horror movie, if nothing else, in his stead.

I think it sounds like I would do a lot less decision-making in cell phone mind meld world, which would be nice. Making decisions is exhausting, and if we all shared a brain I would not have to pester my friends for advice on all the lame choices I am faced with on a daily basis. The hive mind would be all, "Duh, Kaitlyn, you simply must get that three-year-old cavity filled," and I would be like, "Wow, I just had the exact same thought."

this horror movie is actually my dream for me

Thank goodness two dudes came together to make an upcoming movie called Cell and did not invite yours truly!

After watching the trailer it is hard for me to understand why everyone hates the cellphone zombies so much. For one, if you were that obsessed with your cellphone you would be really bad at chasing and even worse at avoiding shotgun fire. For another, the Kardashians are the most phone-obsessed people in this world and I largely find them to be kind, comforting presences on my news feed. It's the people who have no use for phones — and by extension, human connection — that you have to worry about.

Haha, that's what I would say, as a young person who has been possessed by a laggy iPhone 5C.

This film will arrive in theaters on July 8th, and I think every single one of us should go see it together, as long as our phones are okay with that!