Anxious, paranoid, dreamy Drake has a message for you: If you're making muffins, and there are too many walnuts in your muffin batter he just can't trust it. Also, he prefers "the berries that are blue." In case you were wondering!

These are just a couple of feelings that Drake expresses about muffins in this unauthorized (I assume) and extremely bizarre (I can prove this one) remix of "Jumpman." It's not actually Drake's voice, but it is his face, and I'm easily tricked.

As with most topics, Drake's feelings about muffins are too complex to summarize succinctly. Broadly: he loves them, he wants to eat them non-stop, and he's drooling.

My colleague Chris Plante and I watched this video earlier today, fairly close to breakfast time. His reaction was "I don't even," and my reaction was "what." I was eating oatmeal, and didn't feel any immediate urge to change gears and eat a muffin. I don't know what Chris Plante was eating, but he didn't switch to a muffin either. I guess we both thought that was the end of it.

But it wasn't over.

Far from it: Chris Plante purchased his first muffin in "like six months" later this afternoon. It wasn't even breakfast time anymore! He says he doesn't know why he did it. I do. So does this guy:

The charm of this video is hard to place — I don't think it is particularly well-made, funny, or clever. I don't even really care for the song it's parodying. I don't even really care for muffins. To be honest, I don't even care for jokes anymore. I spend way too much time on the internet to think anyone is funny.

What I like most about this video, if I had to hazard a guess, is that it has the gall to exist. Across linguistic, cultural, and temporal barriers, anyone who watched this video would have one thought about it, which would be "why?" And then, six to eight hours later, "do I want a muffin?"

Just some food for thought: do you want a muffin? If your answer is no, please check back later.