I'm not big into vape culture, but I do know one thing about it: the bigger, the more steampunk, the more levers and chrome bits are on your vape, the better. It should look less like a tool for sucking on nicotine-infused vapor and more like a lightsaber, or something you'd use to cauterize a wound in the field. A good vape, in essence, is a diesel vape — a giant machine that is the drug-delivery equivalent of rolling coal.

Seriously, the guys at the vape shop down the street would be drooling at these.

(Hyperloop One)

(UC)

(HMU)

Every single one of these should be filled with sweet, delicious vape juice. Maybe cinnamon or bubble gum.

Hey Wall Street Journal vape bro, do you agree?