The only ritual more sacred than the Naked Walk of Atoning for Being a Woman is the ritual of Game of Thrones live-tweeting. Live-tweeting is sort of rude, but even the worst spoiler is justified by a thoroughly enjoyable joke.
Every week, only one live-tweet can stand out as the best — much like the world of Game of Thrones, you can be Arthur Dayne, Sword of Morning one week, and RIP-ing the next. This week, the winner differentiated herself with Sam Tarly cheerleading, cursing, and asking vital questions about Westerosi class structure. Thank you for your tweets, ghostbuster, SNL cast member and inveterate Game of Thrones spoiler Leslie Jones.
[SPOILERS FOR THIS WEEK'S EPISODE OF GAME OF THRONES]
My favorite thing about Leslie Jones' Game of Thrones tweets is that she passes up the simplicity of screenshots, instead opting for blurry snapshots of television screens. It gives the show an arthouse sensibility it sorely lacks.
My second favorite thing about Leslie Jones' Game of Thrones tweets is that she knows the size of the newly introduced Tarly castle makes no sense at all. They're bannermen of the Tyrells, and they live underneath some random mountain!
Yooooo!! How rich is Sam's family?! pic.twitter.com/cx0kp3nkQc— Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) May 30, 2016
This is the best read anyone has ever given to a purely fictional person:
can already tell he is a dick!! "Growl haven't had a decent blowjob since high wind!Growl! Ugh nobody nice on here! pic.twitter.com/JifRa9n8lO— Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) May 30, 2016
Here are some more words of wisdom for Sam's loving father, who wears his sigil to the dinner table for no reason like an enormous tool. Randyll sucks.
HEY ASSHOLE DONT FUCKING TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! I KILLED A WHITEWALKER MF! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE BUT BE A BITCH!! pic.twitter.com/tTMVaCmEql— Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) May 30, 2016
GILLLLLLLLLLY!! TELL THAT MUTHAFUCKA DONT BE TALKING TO MY MAN LIKE THAT!! HE IS A WARRIOR!! pic.twitter.com/p5WvnJgpSu— Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) May 30, 2016
Your own wife don't even like you!! You dishonor yourself!! pic.twitter.com/3gbm7c0tk5— Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) May 30, 2016
Same? This scene was very hard to watch, despite the fact that I didn't care about what anyone in it was saying, or any of the characters that it involved, or the city it takes place in.
Ok soooo he actually carves off the face?! Oh shit! Am I late in knowing this?...anybody...hello..ew! pic.twitter.com/cslpKv7VXB— Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) May 30, 2016
This is the best tweet I've ever seen:
Ok 1st you ain't bout to do shit! You decorated salt shaker! Please have several seats!! pic.twitter.com/uixHAaWqXq— Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) May 30, 2016
I hope Leslie continues to bless us in the weeks to come.