Apple's big developer's conference today was a very serious affair, as Apple quite sincerely introduced Siri for Mac as a huge update (an idea that Google presented in 2014 and Microsoft copied in 2015) and unveiled an "SOS feature" for the Apple Watch that lets one call 911 by pressing down on a side button. (I like and use Apple products, but this sounds like the worst idea I've ever heard.)
Luckily, there was still time for some jokes!
Craig Federighi, Apple's senior VP of software engineering, was on stage presenting "widgets" that turn the iPhone lock screen into a completely functional second screen (in other words, the antithesis of a lock screen). Among the notifications that he dismissed in public were a missed call from his mother (rude), an alert that Apple's senior VP of marketing Phil Schiller had raided his village in Clash of Clans (TMI), and a Facebook friend request from one extremely famous pop star with an extremely tight relationship with Apple.
It's crazy to me that Craig would reject Taylor Swift out of hand, considering it seems like she spends most of her days baking her friends cookies and making them more famous.
Does Craig not want to star as one of Taylor's 900 best friends in an Apple Music Exclusive Music Video PremiereTM? Does Craig not want one-nine-hundredth of an MTV Video Music Award? Is Craig really not over Taylor stealing his Signature Look a bunch of times in 2015? Is Craig on Calvin Harris' team even though I can barely remember who Calvin Harris is at any given moment? Is Craig... a hater, who's gonna hate hate hate hate hate hate?
Craig, I assume there will be musical consequences for this, and I can't say they will be uncalled for.