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God of War's grumpy old Kratos is learning how to be a good dad

God of War's grumpy old Kratos is learning how to be a good dad

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Kratos is the star of Sony's God of War series, the most ripped man in Sparta, and the kind of guy who'll climb up the face of a minor deity and use knives to gouge its eyeballs from of its face. But now he's got to face his greatest challenge — fatherhood. *Cue Rob Schneider movie music.*

Kratos is the world's sternest dad

The new God of War pairs an older, bearded version of the Greek god-killer with a small and bashful child. In the game's first trailer — shown at Sony's E3 press conference — the duo's life together is comparably humble compared to adventures of the past. They chat; they trudge through snow; they hunt. There's a strange combination of motifs on show in the trailer, mixing the kind of inhuman monster slaying the God of War series is known for with touching family drama.

One thing's for sure: Kratos has adapted quickly to his new role as the world's most stern parent. He only addresses the kid as "boy," for one. Or to be more accurate, "BOY," as everything he says sounds like it comes out in capital letters. Daddy Kratos is rarely happy with his son's actions, demanding that BOY display the same kind of self-sufficient masculinity that compels a man to paint himself with a giant red stripe and run around the mythical underworlds murdering deities because why not.

"Is that a question?" Kratos asks when his kid accidentally slips a hint of uncertainty into his voice, handily teaching him you should be absolutely certain of everything you do no matter your age, experience, or reason.

But he's killing fewer things than he was before

Nu-Kratos unexpectedly borrowed lines from Yoda, telling his child "do not be sorry, be better." Maybe his kid is helping him work on his anger issues — he only rips the face off a few monstrous beasts in almost 10 full minutes of in-game footage.

He makes sure his son gets well acquainted with his favorite pastime of killing stuff even bigger than him. After tracking a majestic deer through the forest, his son fires an arrow through its chest, wounding the beautiful beast. Rather than chastise his son for destroying perhaps the only pure thing in the Norse-themed forest, Kratos hands the miniature maniac a knife and tells him to cut the life out of the creature. The kid, to his credit, refuses, but daddy has a lesson about pathos and stabbing that he wants to impart, so we get to watch as the deer's eyes go dark and the boy learns something truly important that only a father can teach you — if you stab stuff, it will probably die.