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A new Game of Thrones power couple: it's gonna be forever or it's gonna go down in flames

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'I've got a blank space, baby'

HBO

There's a new power couple plotting dominion over Westeros, and I have to say they are my absolute favorite even though they are 100 percent going to break up.

[SPOILERS FOR GAME OF THRONES AND A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE BELOW]

Daenerys can make the bad guys good for a weekend, you know? And this week we saw some bad ole pirates, willing to make good.

If you haven't watched tonight's "Battle of the Bastards" yet, then get ye gone! If you have watched, then you know that Theon and Yara Greyjoy somehow managed to slip their fleet into Mereen even whilst Daenerys was burning down a bunch of ships in the same harbor. They are truly even better pirates than I could have guessed.

pour one out for all our batshit dads

Then they get an audience with Daenerys because Daenerys takes audiences with all main characters who pop up in Mereen. Anyway, I can take a break from whining about writing shortcuts to feel inspired and touched by the notion of two women somehow finding each other and teaming up to face this gods-awful world together. It's a great moment — Yara has been belittled by men who think she can't rule the Iron Islands; everyone in Westeros thinks Dany is dead and most of her army has made sexual passes at her. They relate.

friends

Oh, and everyone in the room had crazy fathers! Since no one else is going to say it: a happy Father's Day to Aerys Targaryen, Tywin Lannister (or, if you believe some kooky theories, Aerys again!), and Balon Greyjoy. May they all RIP, most of them killed by family members.

I love Dany and Yara's exchange of knowing looks and shared chuckle over Euron's "big cock," but the magic is somewhat snuffed out when Dany announces that the Ironborn will no longer "reave, rove, raid, or rape" (at least raving is still in!). At first Yara protests, because she's not sure she's ready for Dany's high-speed liberal progress train into the future.

yara

Aside from the rape, though, it's a fair point. Dany's asking Yara to try to rule her people by telling them they need to found a completely new economy for themselves. No more of the Ironborn doing the only thing they can do to feed and clothe themselves? How's that going to go over? The Iron Islands are basically slimy rocks, covered in salt. They're not exactly going to farm — perhaps they could keep sheep? Or develop some early aquaponics? Best of luck to Yara and Daenerys in convincing the Ironborn to start trading sea glass handicrafts for wheat.

when you play the game of love, you win or you die

On the surface this pairing makes perfect sense: all the Greyjoys want are some terrible islands and two dead uncles, and they'll give Daenerys the ships she needs to take the rest of the Seven Kingdoms. As an added bonus, Daenerys gets to further stick it to the proverbial "man," by installing a second woman as queen in the giant frat house we call Westeros. But the Targaryen-Greyjoy alliance has all the markings of a relationship built on chemistry alone. Sure, sparks are flying, but everyone wants different things in the long run. As we've already seen, Daenerys is a great conquerer, but she's not so great at filling power vacuums and setting up functional cities. Yara and crew are good at exactly nothing so far, except you know... raiding and roving and all that jazz.

For now I'm excited to see what this power couple can do. But don't say I didn't warn you!

taylor swift


Learning the Game of Thrones theme song on a futuristic keyboard