Today is the day the UK decides whether or not to leave the European Union. It's a big moment for us. Life-changing if we leave, life-remaining-broadly-the-saming if we stay. It's also the culmination of a political campaign that has been one of the nastiest in recent British history, defined by a staggering number of half-truths, distortions, inaccuracies, and fibs told by politicians, media, and the general population. So, it's appropriate then that on UK Twitter, rather than getting bogged down in bitter recriminations and last-minute in-fighting, everyone is having fun lying about their blind, 93-year-old mum.
It started this morning with a tweet:
Just took 93yr Mum to vote, she's registered blind. In a very loud voice she said, "Which box for out?" A cheer went up from waiting voters— Keith Adams (@keitheadams) June 23, 2016
This is pretty normal for polling day Twitter, and pretty normal for Twitter. You wake up in the morning, you've got a thirst for #numbers that's cranking on your soul like a drug addiction. You think a little. Have a cuppa. Then — simple! You'll make up an anecdote involving some wide-eyed truth-telling figure (Your infant son! Your dear old mum!) who will, apropos of nothing, say something that just happens to affirm your entire political ideology and / or belief system. Boom. Tweet it. Numbers.
But with Keith and his 93-year-old mum, people just weren't having it.
Keith was steadfast that what had happened in that small village hall was the lonely, only truth.
But the internet had stopped caring. Had stopped listening. The internet knows a good, memeable joke format when it sees one and it went mad for it, like a 93-year-old mum attacking a ballot with a stubby pencil.
Just took 93yr Mum to vote, shes registered blind. In a loud voice she said "It's Britney Bitch". A cheer went up from the gay voters— colouroffensive. (@colouroffensive) June 23, 2016
Took my blind 93 year old mother to vote. She said "existence is a bleak meaningless hell. I crave death". Everybody in the queue cheered.— Nihilists4Brexit (@NihilistBrexit) June 23, 2016
Just took 93yr Mum to vote, she's registered blind. In a very loud voice she said, "Re-e-wind"— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) June 23, 2016
The waiting crowd cheered "Bo Selecta"
Just took 93yr Mum to vote, she's registered blind. In a loud voice she said, "jet fuel cant melt steel beams." A cheer went up from voters.— Ryan Barrell (@RyanBarrell) June 23, 2016
Just took 93yr Mum to vote, she's registered blind. In a loud voice she said, "͠Sòo̵n. ͞F̨r̶o̵m t̀he ̛ḑeep͟ he r̀is͏e͞s̕."— Tom Phillips (@flashboy) June 23, 2016
Took 93 yr old mum, registered blind..to vote, In a loud voice she said "RIKON SHOULD HAVE ZIGZAGGED" cheer went up from waiting voters— Becks (@b3ky) June 23, 2016
Just took 93yr Mum to vote, she's registered blind. In a loud voice she said "fucking hell son this is going to be a meme isn't it" and died— Jan (@janhopis) June 23, 2016