From the little city of White Settlement, Texas, home to 16,000 people and one aggrieved kitty, comes my favorite story of the year: a snack-sized tale of petty revenge in local government. Originally reported by Bud Kennedy at the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, the White Settlement city council voted 2-1 on June 14th to fire the public library's Chief Library Cat, Browser. The vote was marked on the council's agenda only as "discuss and consider relocation of Library Facility cat 'Browser'" — a bureaucratic euphemism for the heartless abandonment of a former shelter cat and the start of World War 3: Cats Vs. Dogs.
Despite hundreds of patrons who wanted to save the cat from relocation, Browser now has until mid-July to find a new home. The city's political establishment decided its local library was no place for, and again, I can't stress this enough, a former shelter cat beloved by the townspeople. "City Hall and city businesses are no place for animals," council member Elzie Clements said, according to the Star-Telegram. But what Clements didn't say is that the measure was an act of retribution.
White Settlement mayor Ron White (not that Ron White) suggests backroom sniping over a puppy that was kicked out of government is to blame for the anti-cat vote. "That cat doesn't have anything to do with whether somebody can have their puppy at City Hall," White said, according to the Star-Telegram. "That cat doesn't hurt anybody... The council just went out and did this on their own because they don't like cats."
Once again, this is Browser, a former shelter cat who was just voted out of a home and a job:
Hopefully the decision will be overturned. In the meantime, have fun imagining this tale as your favorite lost episode of Parks and Recreation.