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Texas town starts war between cats and dogs that everyone saw coming

From the little city of White Settlement, Texas, home to 16,000 people and one aggrieved kitty, comes my favorite story of the year: a snack-sized tale of petty revenge in local government. Originally reported by Bud Kennedy at the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, the White Settlement city council voted 2-1 on June 14th to fire the public library's Chief Library Cat, Browser. The vote was marked on the council's agenda only as "discuss and consider relocation of Library Facility cat 'Browser'" — a bureaucratic euphemism for the heartless abandonment of a former shelter cat and the start of World War 3: Cats Vs. Dogs.

Despite hundreds of patrons who wanted to save the cat from relocation, Browser now has until mid-July to find a new home. The city's political establishment decided its local library was no place for, and again, I can't stress this enough, a former shelter cat beloved by the townspeople. "City Hall and city businesses are no place for animals," council member Elzie Clements said, according to the Star-Telegram. But what Clements didn't say is that the measure was an act of retribution.

White Settlement mayor Ron White (not that Ron White) suggests backroom sniping over a puppy that was kicked out of government is to blame for the anti-cat vote. "That cat doesn't have anything to do with whether somebody can have their puppy at City Hall," White said, according to the Star-Telegram. "That cat doesn't hurt anybody... The council just went out and did this on their own because they don't like cats."

Once again, this is Browser, a former shelter cat who was just voted out of a home and a job:

browser cat

Hopefully the decision will be overturned. In the meantime, have fun imagining this tale as your favorite lost episode of Parks and Recreation.