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Porsche unveiled the new Panamera today. That's cool, but like many product unveilings across many industries, the introduction was preceded by an on-stage hypefest that was only loosely connected with reality. (See: Samsung's Zoll, Qualcomm at CES 2013, the list goes on.) So let's just go through a quick list of things that happened during the Porsche event:
1. A guy threw a courage rag
2. Cosmopolitan bros stared directly through my soul
3. I was momentarily rendered unconscious by a disorienting ribbon dance
4. This dude
5. Two bros who I don't believe have ever used apps before came out and swiped in thin air like they're in Minority Report and then high-fived each other
6. Backflip guy
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