SCOOP: THESE ARE VERY GOOD KITTENS AND THEY ARE ON THE INTERNET — Grizebella (named for the "Glamor Cat" in the worst Broadway musical that your family inexplicably loves) and her three kittens are live on the internet and they are playing with toys. The kittens haven't been vaccinated yet, so people can't rub their faces in their furry little tummies oh my God. They're instead posted up in the cat terrarium at Brooklyn's Cat Cafe.
KITTEN AMBITION PROMPTS SLICK MOVES — The kittens, though young, have already shown the killer instincts we expect, and have gone on occasional rampages around their pen, including near the kitten cam. This is what separates the pros from the Instagram kiddies, as celebrity expert Spencer Pratt can tell us. Here we have a kitten, adorably pretending to bat at this dangling toy, while stealing all the screen time from her siblings. This is the true secret to stardom: make sure the camera is always on you, and make sure none of your competitors get nearly as much screen time.
HAPPY FRIDAY AFTERNOON AND PLEASE STAY ABOVE THE FRAY — Don't forget to keep your eyes peeled for Grizabella, who has wisely set up shop at the top of the frame, where her tiny adorable dingbats can't get her. This has forced them to wrestle with each other — divide and conquer, excellent parenting move when you're outnumbered.
WATCH OUT FIREFOX USERS — This live stream is not ideal for Firefox (mine wouldn't play it) though it works just fine in both Chrome and Safari. It is unclear what the kittens have against Firefox, though I suppose it is possible they simply abjure all cute fuzzy competition. Cut-throat. Ruthless.
EXCLUSIVE: LOCAL SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER ASKS FOR SECOND MONITOR, SO AS TO MONITOR THE LIVE STREAM — I can exclusively report that when I shared this live stream with my colleagues, a social media manager at a certain website immediately wondered if she could get another monitor for this hot kitten content. These guys are gonna be stars, I tell ya! Stars!