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I didn't know how much I loved Darude’s Sandstorm until Angry Birds tried to ruin it

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Part of what Rovio calls its 'biggest update' to the game ever

"Sandstorm" by Darude might not be the most critically acclaimed piece of music out there, but it is honest, pure, and strong. It's a trance track that, to quote my colleague Sam Byford, is to dance music what Andrew W.K.'s "Party Hard" is to metal: "It elevates the tropes of a genre to the point of simplicity and absurdity, so much so that it becomes subversive." It's also the only song I want played at my funeral — and Angry Birds is trying to ruin it.

corporations should not meddle with sacred music

In an attempt to reanimate its long-running franchise, Angry Birds publisher Rovio is releasing a new update for the game named The Mighty League, which pitches players against one another to compete for high scores. And to make this a little more enticing, Rovio has commissioned Finnish DJ Darude to remix his 1999 gift to humanity: "Sandstorm." Rovio's press release describes the resulting track as "a wing-pumping twist on the trance classic," which is a funny way of saying "we had the impudence to spit in the face of God."

And when you've endured as much as you can of the sacrilege above, please: cleanse your body and soul with the calming waters of the original below. While you do, why not ponder the deep spiritual mysteries of "Sandstorm," like: why is the music video about a turf war between courier firms? Did Darude call himself Darude because he thought it sounded like "Da Rude Dude"? And how happy would I personally be if my voice was replaced by the synth riff from this song? Amen.

Oh, and the toy trumpet version is still funny, too.