I've always wanted to be an astronaut. That cool white uniform and blasting off into space seems like way more fun than blasting around virtual galaxies in Destiny. Luckily, Microsoft has me covered.
Microsoft's Australian marketing team, who are presumably fueled by cans of Fosters, have created an Xbox Onesie. It looks like a deflated astronaut spacesuit, but it's perfect if you just want to sit at home on your sofa and order Domino's pizza by shouting at your Kinect. That's my real life after the astronaut dream failed.
You'll be glad to hear the Xbox Onesie comes in both black and white, so you can blend into your environment or stand out and wear it proud. The enlarged pockets mean you can carry around your Xbox One controller even when you take a rest on the porcelain throne after shooting bad guys (don't forget to mute your party chat). These Xbox Onesies are probably even respectable enough to wear down to your local grocery store to stock up on some Doritos or Mountain Dew for that marathon Call of Duty session. Microsoft's press release (yes, really) highlights all the key features:
- Enlarged pockets to fit your Xbox Controller and Media Remotes
- Arm pouch to offer quick and easy access to your mobile phone
- Roll-able legs and arms to cater for all temperatures and seasons
- Forearm grips to prevent slipping on those ‘edge of your seat' moments
- Extra-large hood to accommodate headsets for the ultimate gaming sessions
- Customized Gamertag embroidery
Yes, it has rollable arms and legs so you can literally wear it all year long and never have to worry about washing your actual clothes again. There's even an extra-large hood so you can wear a headset or, you know, hide from the world for even considering wearing this monstrosity. I don't care what anyone thinks though, all I want for Christmas is an Xbox Onesie.