In 2016, it's become acceptable to use an iPad as a camera. No longer the domain of parents on vacation, iPad photography has been coopted by the young, who shamelessly lift their large screens in the air, obstructing the view as they film entire concerts. Notably, The Verge's own Sean O'Kane defended the "iPad as camera" back in 2014.
The woman in this video, above, was reminded harshly by one of our close aquatic friends that tablet photography, no matter how accepted by tech critics and society at large, remains a social offense. "The world is okay with iPad photography," the dolphin seems to say by clutching the tablet with its long mouth, "But I will no longer keep silent!"
Of course, the video raises the obvious questions: why did the dolphin choose this moment and this iPad to remind the world of its wrongness?
Upon closer examination of the video, it can be seen that the woman is actually holding a matching iPhone in her other hand. Which can only mean that she had to have looked at the two gadgets in her hands, and actively decided that the giant, hardcover-book-sized screen was the better camera option. Perhaps the dolphin was provoked by this hubris?
Obviously, there are only a few motivations for the dolphin's behavior, which I’ve enumerated below in order of most to least likely.
- She was in cahoots with the dolphin all along, intending for the video of the iPad theft to go viral by capturing it with the phone in her other hand, only to be defeated by the obvious viral rival who filmed the actual viral video above. Perhaps the viral rival thwarted her by coating the phone in vaseline, causing it to slip loose at the worst possible moment.
- The dolphin needed the iPad to catch up on Netflix before any thoughtless park guests managed to spoil Stranger Things for her.
- The entire thing was a set up by the second dolphin seen swimming away in the end of the video, who was looking to humiliate the first dolphin as part of a diversion to steal extra fish.
- Her iPad was the newer device, which would therefore have a better camera than an older iPhone.
- The dolphin mistook the shiny object for food.
Listen, I'm just going to be honest: Using an iPad as your camera is ridiculous. You know it, I know it, and apparently, even dolphins know it.