If you’re more into wearing your internet companies than using them, then good news! Urban Outfitters is selling an America Online-branded shirt. Spotted by Tech Insider, this nostalgia-stained attempt at fashion will cost you $45. That’s more than it would cost you to actually use AOL’s paid service, the priciest of which costs $25.90 a month. Yes, you can still subscribe to AOL.
Based on Urban Outfitters’ photos, the T-shirt’s features include the ability to roll your sleeves, stare wistfully into the distance while pondering the existence of the not-so-deep web, and a lot of stretch if you yank aggressively on the hem. That’d be great for cleaning up food messes in my kitchen. It doesn’t offer email, an internet connection, or even the AOL dial-up noise that causes my left eye to twitch with anticipation.
As a longtime Urban Outfitter shopper (akin to an apologist) of “old things” like record players and film cameras, I get the appeal here. So vintage! Remember SmarterChild? But like... that’s $45 for a T-shirt. You can still find an old CD of 1045 free AOL hours on eBay for $3, and I bet it won’t even shrink the first time you wash it.