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Jeremy Renner has an app and it punishes you the moment you open it

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I’m going to die

2017 iHeartRadio Music Awards - Arrivals Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images

Jeremy Renner — the actor best known for a series of Marvel films and loving one swear word the most — has launched a fan app called Jeremy Renner. When you launch the app, it autoplays a 42-second sample of Jeremy Renner’s cover of “House of the Rising Sun,” loudly, no matter where you happen to be. (For me: office. Got yelled at.)

Here is the launch screen photo and the home screen photo, respectively:

The app is free, but it has in-app purchases and, according to The Hollywood Reporter, will feature “exclusive” Jeremy Renner content. One thing that’s not exclusive to Jeremy Renner (the app) is a cover of “House of the Rising Sun” sung by Jeremy Renner (the movie star). You can watch that on YouTube.

The app will also rank Jeremy Renner fans based on their dedication to him, using the measure of “activity,” which is powered by stars, which you can purchase in various increments starting at 200 for $1.99.

You’ll notice that the app category Jeremy Renner has chosen for Jeremy Renner is “Music.” So, friends, I’m going to say this once and only once: we’re gathered here today to welcome Jeremy Renner’s music career into the world.