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Mass Effect: Andromeda’s makeup options range from ‘bad Bowie’ to ‘DIY Halloween mishap’

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Cheek gills! Get your cheek gills!

Mass Effect: Andromeda’s character creator has a handful of presets for you to tweak, very few eyebrow options, and some questionable ideas on makeup. Is it a beauty blunder? Hard to say, because it’s not like Andromeda is trying at trends and failing. It’s just... reinventing them.

Lipstick designs include the best of Queen Amidala’s technique (cool!) to a cheek line that makes you look like the Joker (hmm). An off-the-lip smear has me wondering why, if your intrepid space explorer is concerned enough to do her lipstick before she jetpacks onto a foreign planet, she wouldn’t take the time to apply some lipliner. Your eyeshadow options crank upward from a basic lid cover to bizarre, speckled effects. I can’t find a way to create a true smokey eye, but I can put together a look reminiscent of the Windows ‘95 logo.

The game gives you three options for blush, two of which are downright unusable. Do you want your character to look like she has scales? What about poorly placed cheek gills?

Call me basic: I’m all about a sharp cat eye and lips that pop. My idea of GoInG CrAzY usually equals a lot of eyeshadow, and so I get that Andromeda’s cyber punk / space sea monster / compact explosions looks are going to be wacky by my standards. But the game is really going on some kind of tear. It’s like if you cobbled together a series of the worst DIY costume makeup tutorials and then experimented on your little sister with them.