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Amazon sells record number of turkeys

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bezos

Year after year, Amazon brags about selling more things than ever, and now the company has added turkey sales to its leaderboard. In a letter to shareholders, CEO Jeff Bezos celebrated the milestone made possible by its takeover of Whole Foods. “Our Prime member exclusive promotion broke Whole Foods’ all-time record for turkeys sold during the Thanksgiving season,” Bezos wrote.

In accordance with Amazon’s tradition of congratulating itself for vaguely-defined excellence, Bezos did not say exactly how many turkeys were sold. He also declined to say how many Fire TVs, Kindles, and Echo devices Amazon sold, but noted 2017 was also the company’s “best year yet for hardware sales.”

Amazon did release one useful stat today: in 2017, the company reached 100 million Prime subscribers. Maybe in a decade we’ll find out exactly how many birds were sacrificed to feed Prime’s ruthless hunger.