Avengers: Infinity Wars is nearly upon us, signaling both the death of a bunch of beloved superheroes, probably, and a marketing cycle that thirsts for the blood of every possible cash cow. Today’s sacrifice comes to us via Build-a-Bear, which has announced a new series of Marvel-themed nightmares. For the children, of course.
Teenage Groot Bear features the curious combination of a Groot body, a bear’s face, and a man’s eyes. This cuddly cursed image, which definitely does not look like Groot peeled off a bear’s skin to wear as a soothing puts-the-lotion-on-its-skin face mask, is available for $28. Teenage acne and attitude are not included.
The Marvel line spares Captain America, Thor, Black Widow, and many of the other heroes the Build-a-Bear treatment (we do mourn the tiny, furry Mjolnir that wasn’t) and instead goes straight for an Iron Spider-Man Bear and a Black Panther ... Bear (?). These leftovers are significantly less demonic than Groot Bear, though both still feature eyes that reveal the souls of their respective superheroes trapped within.
An Iron Man costume is also available for $16 if you already have a bear or small dog you’d like to
punish dress up.