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Somebody please make this Android phone!

22

Whoever makes this phone first takes my money:

  • PURE STOCK ANDROID (with instant OS and security updates as soon as they're released)
  • LATEST SNAPDRAGON PROCESSOR
  • HUGE 6 INCH DISPLAY (in regular 16x9, non-curved, and with super-fast refresh rate like the Razer Phone)
  • AWESOME FRONT-FACING SPEAKERS (again, like the Razer Phone)
  • ENORMOUS 5000 mAh USER REPLACEABLE BATTERY (I don't care if my phone isn't the thinnest out there)
  • AMAZING REAR CAMERA (whatever the Pixel 2 is doing, copy it)
  • HEADPHONE JACK (for God's sake!)
  • IP68 WATERPROOF (or an even better rating if possible)
  • WIRELESS CHARGING & NFC
  • NOT MADE ENTIRELY OUT OF GLASS (I'm going to put a case on the phone anyway, so I don't really care what it's made of as long as it doesn't break just by looking at it)
  • USB-C FAST CHARGING (like the OnePlus 6)
  • FINGERPRINT SENSOR ON THE BACK (or on the screen if you can do it)
  • NO NOTCH ON THE SCREEN (ridiculousness)
  • AT LEAST 128GB STORAGE (expandable via MicroSD)
  • DUAL SIM CARD SLOTS
  • At LEAST 8GB RAM
  • NO BLOATWARE PRE-INSTALLED (I'm looking at you, Samsung...)
  • AVAILABLE AT ALL MAJOR CARRIERS (paying for it in installments helps)
This is my dream phone right now; a true Android Power-User device. I don't care about small bezels, or shaving off an extra millimeter of thickness. Form follows function. I want a big screen, big battery, big storage, big speakers, and top-of-the-line performance with friggin' stock Android. I can't really believe nobody has made this yet. Show me a phone like this and I'll buy it immediately. I'm sure many others would as well.

Anyone?

Bueller?