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The black mystery sarcophagus was opened, and now people want to drink its ‘bone juice’

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In a way, the change.org petition proves there was a curse in there after all

Photo: Reuters

There was a lot of fierce debate about whether we should open the massive and ancient black sarcophagus that was unearthed in Alexandria, Egypt, a few weeks back. For many, including this reporter, the damn thing needed to remain closed, lest we all be subjected to some kind of horrifying, world-ending torment.

Nobody listened to reason, however, and yesterday, the sarcophagus was opened. What was revealed was not buried treasure or some massive curse (yet) but three average skeletons, possibly soldiers, baking in a lot of red liquid. And because the internet is the home for forbidden snackers of all types, some people wanted to drink that sweet, sweet mummy broth.

As of this writing, more than 400 people have signed a change.org petition to let people drink the liquid from the “cursed” dark sarcophagus. The goal, according to Innes McKendrick, the Scottish game producer who launched the petition, is to turn the liquid into some sort of carbonated Monster-esque energy drink, so people can assume the skeleton’s powers and “finally die.”

Image: change.org

While it might look like Kool-Aid, experts say that the juice is actually some kind of sewage that must have seeped into the not-so-water-tight tomb during the 2,000 or so years that the sarcophagus was buried. McKendrick, though, isn’t convinced, as “everyone knows that skeletons cannot poop.”

Whether this campaign is, in fact, the foretold curse is unknown (but likely).