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Star Wars Instant Pots invite you to cook out of Chewbacca’s chest

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There’s no Ewok one, come on

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Image: Williams Sonoma

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker is coming out in less than a month, and the tsunami of Star Wars-themed merchandise is finally starting to hit. The latest Star Wars-branded gear you can buy? An Instant Pot, courtesy of an exclusive partnership with Williams Sonoma.

This product should be made for me. I love Star Wars. I love my Instant Pot. But I don’t really like these:

Image: Williams Sonoma

The R2-D2 and BB-8 ones are kind of fun, I’ll give them that. I can deal with the headcanon of pretending that droids from the movies can also be my personal robots that cook my lentil soup. And the BB-8 one is smaller than the rest of the collection, at three quarts! Aww.

The Darth Vader or Stormtrooper-themed ones are just boring. There’s no headcanon with those, just uninteresting helmets on the sides of the pots and colors to match. And why aren’t the buttons on the Darth Vader one themed like his chest panel, with buttons to match?

But I just can’t deal with the Chewbacca Instant Pot. I do not want to make lasagna inside a Wookie-branded kitchen appliance. It sullies the good work the Wookies do in the Star Wars universe and is an insult to Chewbacca, in my opinion. And also, if you’re going to make furry Star Wars characters into Instant Pots, how can you not have an Ewok? They’re already short and stout like Instant Pots anyway. Missed opportunity.

Fortunately, if you refuse on principle to even consider buying a Star Wars-themed Instant Pot (okay, maybe that’s just me), then you can peruse some of the honestly much better Star Wars-themed Williams Sonoma gear, like the cast-iron roaster with Han Solo’s frozen Carbonite body on the lid, the Porg pie bird, or the Darth Vader helmet that’s also a toaster.