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Public service announcement: these memes are now canceled

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Don’t virtually touch your face

Due to ongoing concerns about viral content, The Verge is issuing new guidance regarding exposure to memes about touching one’s face. Effective immediately, please discontinue use of the following memes and consider the suggested alternatives.

The Nathan Fillion

This one starts off good, but the situation quickly deteriorates. Nathan touches his lips, nose, and then pretty much all over his face. Not recommended.

Alternative: Nathan Fillion wearing novelty-sized clown gloves.

The facepalm

As you can see in the image above, Captain Picard is covering nearly his entire face with the full surface of his hand. This behavior is dangerous.

Alternative: Picard struggling to keep his hand from touching his own face.

The Roll Safe

While not quite as bad as Captain Picard or Nathan Fillion, Reece Simpson (aka Roll Safe) has a bit too much finger on his forehead. Ironically, this is not so smart. Don’t touch your face.

Alternative: hands to the side, as far away from the face as possible.

The download

We get it: receiving files on your laptop is sweet. But don’t touch your mouth.

Alternative: Antonio Banderas wearing a mask, but the cool kind, not essential N-95 masks that are in short supply and desperately needed by health care professionals.

The Willy Wonka

Quarrelsome little children are just precious and make you want to rest your disbelieving face on your knuckles. Wrong. Don’t do it.

Alternative: actually just don’t go anywhere near Wonka World. A kid fell in the chocolate river. It’s doomed.

The epic handshake

Handshaking with the boys can be important, but nothing is as important right now as good hygiene and social distancing. If you must, a fist-bump is acceptable.

Alternative: stop short of touching someone’s hand with the fear of god.

The despair

We get it: things are confusing and scary out there. But that’s no excuse to touch your face.

Alternative: find a salad to laugh at.