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Quibi’s most ludicrous shows at launch — based on nothing but their taglines

Flipping murder homes is quite frankly the content I deserve

What is Quibi? Is it the final frontier in the streaming wars? Is it vaporware that’s managed to secure nearly $2 billion in investment funding before it’s even launched? Is it going to be the next big thing people spend time watching while in the bathroom?

No one really knows. Founder Jeffrey Katzenberg sees it as the next step in mobile entertainment. Quibi has teamed up with an impressive number of celebrities to make some high quality movies and shows for launch. But it’s also created some truly bonkers series that make you go “what the—” while reading the tagline.

(Disclosure: Vox Media, which owns The Verge, has a deal with Quibi to produce a Polygon Daily Essential, and there have been early talks about a Verge show.)

Whether it’s a show about flipping houses where murders have happened or shows where cannons full of food explode in people’s faces, these are Quibi’s most intriguing series that people can watch day one.

Quibi launches on April 6th for $4.99-a-month (with ads) or $7.99-a-month (without ads). People can sign up now for a 90-day free trial on the streamer’s website.

Murder House Flip

From the Executive Producer of CSI, Murder House Flip is an unconventional new home renovation show that takes on the country’s most infamous homes: the ones known for mysterious murders committed behind their walls. Homeowners turn to high-end renovation experts, Mikel Welch and Joelle Uzyel, to remove the stains of the past and take these homes from morbid to marvelous.

Here’s the thing: I’m planning to sign up for Quibi mainly for this show. It has everything I’m interested in: home renovation, drama, murder. Or, rather, former murder. I, like many other former goths now in their late 20s, was obsessed with American Horror Story’s first season, which is all about a murder house! I want to learn about the murders, and watch the drama over tearing down drywall at the same time.

Dishmantled

From the Creator and Executive Producer of Chopped comes Dishmantled, a high-octane cooking competition that will literally blow your socks off. Hosted by Tituss Burgess, each episode starts with the cannon-blasting of a mystery food dish into the faces of two blindfolded chefs. They’ll use their culinary prowess to identify the exploded dish and then race against the clock to recreate it. Whichever chef comes closest to the original dish wins a cash prize.

Who doesn’t like cannons packed with fully prepared meals going off in their faces? That’s what I want to find out! Dishmantled takes the best parts of YouTube prank culture, beloved celebrities like Tituss Burgess, and the drama of cooking competition shows, and combines them into... well, this. I’m stoked.

Nikki Fre$h

Starring and executive produced by Nicole Richie, ‘Nikki Fre$h’ unites her passions for Mother Earth and hip hop into her eponymous alter ego, Nikki Fre$h. Nikki brings a new voice to wellness with a totally fresh style of music - dropping socially conscious and educational rhymes on the world. Nikki Fre$h will interact with real life seekers and consciousness experts to learn ways to better serve our bodies and our planet — while comedically exaggerating those solutions to the edge of sanity

If you haven’t seen Great News, it’s streaming on Netflix and I highly recommend starting there to understand why Nicole Richie doing Nikki Fre$h is one of my most anticipated shows. Richie is hilarious! The whole concept of this show, from “dropping socially conscious and educational rhymes” but “comedically exaggerating those solutions to the edge of sanity” genuinely sounds like a fever dream I want to live in.

Shape of Pasta

Chef Evan Funke. Italy. And the pursuit of pasta perfection. He’s uncovering the craft and culture behind some rare and forgotten pasta shapes. We dare you not to drool. Follow Chef Evan Funke’s passion-filled quest to find the last remaining masters of the world’s most beloved food... pasta. Join his whirlwind tour of Italy to keep these traditions alive.

Shape of Pasta sounds incredibly cool, and as someone who grew up in a very Sicilian household, right up my alley. But this is an entire show dedicated to the shape of pasta. The shape! I’m both intrigued and left scratching my head over how many different pasta shapes there can really be in the world.

The Daily Chill

By combining guided meditation and awe-inspiring visuals, The Daily Chill takes users on a pathway to calmness. Each episode features a new global destination and, with it, a new ASMR journey to peace.

A meditation show, that’s also a travel series, wrapped up into an ASMR relaxation moment. It’s extremely YouTube — and I mean that in the best way possible. This is either going to lean into its premise of being the weirdest relaxation show available right now, or will disappear from our radars entirely.

BONUS: Murder Unboxed

What does a bottle of brandy, a toaster, a pile of cash, and a Bourne Supremacy DVD have to do with murder? Quibi’s new crime series, Murder Unboxed will reveal the connections by dusting off the boxes of evidence from outlandish and real life murder cases.

Mimicking the style of the popular online “unboxing” videos, each episode takes a new case and introduces seemingly unrelated evidence - one item at a time. Through interviews with the actual investigators, prosecutors, and witnesses of each case along with stylized recreations, the crazy story of how these random items came together to solve the crime unfolds. Full of twists, turns, and red herrings, each case plays out like a game a Clue, a real whodunit that has viewers playing along and guessing until the very end.

Here’s the thing: Murder Unboxed isn’t a launch title on Quibi. It doesn’t have a release date yet. It’s also, however, the only show I have ever said I need in my life. Murder Unboxed is a YouTube-like series about unboxing things, but it’s cold case murders! Imagine someone looking at the camera and going, “What’s up guys? Today we’re going to look into the murder of so-and-so.” And then it’s just an unboxing video! I don’t even care that we don’t need this, I just want it.

Actually, one more bonus because what? Barkitecture

Barkitecture captures the lifestyles of dog-loving, dog-obsessed people who are gifting their beloved fur-babies with the most ridiculously extravagant dog houses imaginable.

In each episode, Tyler and Delia will work with doggie parents to build a fully customized dog house that redefines sitting in the lap of luxury. Episodes will feature Joel McHale, Lisa Vanderpump, Kyle Richards, Rumor Willis, and more.

I spend a good-sized chunk of cash each month to live in a decent apartment in Brooklyn, so let me tell you that I will absolutely watch every episode of Barkitecture, a show about dogs who live in nicer places than I could ever dream of living in. Does the dog have a balcony? Probably! Just another example of dogs living better than me. Barkitecture is not available at launch, but just the tantalizing idea of it is enough to keep me subscribed to Quibi, probably.