The internet has gone slightly feral as it awaited the Mario movie trailer reveal. When Nintendo posted the link to the livestream, thousands of viewers flocked to the YouTube page to wait as though they were queuing to buy the next Nintendo console. Earlier this week, we got a glimpse of the poster for the movie, which features a shot of Mario from behind, leading observers to comment on the plumber’s decidedly lacking backside. As The Verge’s resident butt appreciator, I will offer no opinion on this because I was too busy screaming about CAPTAIN TOAD!
The Verge’s Andrew Webster anticipated the trailer reveal to be one of the great sea changes in internet history.
“Life won't be the same after hearing Pratt’s Mario voice,” he said, while The Verge’s Cameron Faulkner wondered aloud if Mario would cuss.
When Chris Pratt was announced as the voice of Mario, the internet let out a collective, “What the fuck?” It seemed an incomprehensible choice, one leaving Charles Martinet, the man who’s voiced Mario in the games for decades now, out in the cold. There were concerns Pratt wouldn’t fit the role due to his lack of Italian heritage and general dissatisfaction because it’s generally agreed that Pratt, of the Four Great Chrises, is the most annoying. We only got a couple of lines from him, and they were all astonishingly bad because he’s just using his normal voice?! Y’all put Charles Martinet out of a job for this?? Why, God, why?! On the plus side, at least Jack Black delivered a deliciously evil and fun Bowser so it’s not all bad, but still. Yikes.
There aren’t that many great mysteries left in the world. What did we lose when the Library of Alexandria burned? What happened to those skiers in the Dyatlov Pass? What does Chris Pratt sound like as Mario? That last question has finally been answered, and there is one less burning question left in the world.