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The new South Park movie is basically just one long crypto roast

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Fortune favors the brave

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Matt Damon making that “Fortune Favors The Brave” commercial for Crypto.com will go down in history as one of the best things that ever happened to South Park. (And the worst thing that happened to a lot of crypto investments: if you put $1,000 into Bitcoin when the ad first aired last October, you’d have about $325 today.) The show has been making fun of crypto, Damon, and that phrase ever since. But with South Park The Streaming Wars Part 2, which just hit Paramount Plus, the show’s crypto jokes hit a new level.

Knowing the plot of South Park The Streaming Wars Part 2 is not important to enjoy the videos below. Though, if you haven’t watched the Damon commercial, you should. Actually, here it is, it’s always worth a rewatch:

Anyway, back to South Park The Streaming Wars Part 2. The thrust of the story is that there’s a huge drought in South Park, and it’s making everyone crazy. (And turning them into Karens.) But, then, an unlikely waterpark-owning savior appears with a plan: what if we replaced water... with pee?

And, with that, we are off and running with one of the better crypto metaphors you’re ever going to find, with some of the best moments helpfully compiled by @CryptoParadyme on Twitter. First, we have Damon himself reminding us that, yes, fortune still favors the brave:

Fortune favors the brave pretty much throughout the rest of South Park The Streaming Wars Part 2. It’s a relatively equal-opportunity roast, with a particular emphasis on the celebrities who hyped NFTs and coins to no end, like Gwyneth Paltrow:

And Larry David, who still doesn’t know what crypto is but definitely knows what pee is:

And Naomi Osaka, who is a brand ambassador for FTX in real life:

And Reese Witherspoon, who sent one of the all-time weirdest crypto tweets telling people to prepare for a world where “every person will have a parallel digital identity”:

There are a million more celebrities South Park could have chosen from, of course, from Tom Brady (who does make a brief cameo, as does LeBron James) to Stephen Curry, Jimmy Fallon, and Paris Hilton. Most of whom, by the way, have grown much quieter about the crypto / NFT future as prices have plunged across the board. But, unfortunately for them and lucky for us, South Park never forgets.

They’re all in. Are urine?