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Why haven’t you bought your phone a bed yet?

Why haven’t you bought your phone a bed yet?


You’re a bad phone parent (no offense)

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Thrive Global

Your phone had a long day. Think about all those texts you sent. And all that internet you browsed. What about those Snapchat selfies? You recharged your phone twice today, and you expect it to be a dutiful servant to you? All your phone wants is a nap. If only it had a place to sleep that wasn’t the floor, your bedside table, or pillow (where most humans like me keep their phone at night).

The Phone Bed, as first pointed out by congressional reporter Joe Perticone, is a $100 bed for your phones. It’s sold through Thrive Global, Arianna Huffington’s website dedicated to “well-being.” Phone Bed does indeed charge up to 10 devices, so technically, your phone really isn’t getting that full night of undisturbed rest. Oh well.

“The phone bed makes putting our smartphones to bed a regular part of our nightly ritual. First we tuck our phones in, and then ourself. By giving our phones their own bed, we can say goodnight to our day and get the sleep we need to wake up fully recharged.”

The phones can sleep on top of the bed’s satin linens, and tablets can be put inside the bed’s velvet-lined compartments. Apparently Phone Bed is also supposed to show kids how to maintain a “healthy relationship” with technology because there’s “room in the bed for the whole family’s devices.” What is this, a phone commune?

Simply putting your phone on the bed isn’t enough, though, you must turn it off for the full relaxation effect. Please, please don’t forget to tuck your phone in. It’s crucial to its sanity and well-being. Please. Think of the phones.

Correction 12/1, 9:05 AM ET: Updated to reflect that Phone Bed does charge phones because it has 10 charging ports.