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Circuit Breaker

Witness a stock footage hype reel for Asus's upcoming smartphones

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Taiwan's Asus is launching three new smartphones at Computex later this month. If that sounds like a generic bit of news, just wait until you see the splendrous genericity of the associated video teaser.

CLARITY, it bellows at us in a helplessly anonymous sans serif font, while transmitting that message with the use of flashing images of ice, ice crystals, snowflakes, and snow-covered mountains. Other than a split second showing an angled shot of the back of one of Asus's new phones, I could've served you up that entire sequence and tried to sell you home insurance (winter is, after all, coming).

I don't know what this has to do with phones, but I like it!

But before you've even had a chance to digest the first burst of glorious natural vistas, the driving bassline pushes forward into a DESIRE segment, where the weather has warmed up, the sun has risen, and birds and sharks are on the move. Full marks for dynamism!

And for the finale to this whirlwind tour of "things completely unrelated to our upcoming smartphones," Asus zooms way out to the moon and peeks back at a planet Earth populated by a few billion perplexed souls. UNLIMITED, it says, while displaying a shot of the galaxy limited by a phone's screen.

I jest, of course, but is there a more appropriate reaction to a company that promises Zenvolution and the power of #Z3N? The important things to take away from this video are three, just like the number of phones: display clarity and camera quality will be big selling points, and the two smaller phones appear to feature a very narrow fingerprint sensor on the back. Stay tuned for our live coverage at Computex to find out more.