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Circuit Breaker

Furby Connect has come to steal and eat your IoT nightmares

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There's a new Furby, and nothing is safe or sacred. It has hell eyes, made of cursed LCDs. It speaks 1,000 phrases, all adorably designed to destroy your soul probably. Its ears are kind of like arms! It connects to an app via Bluetooth, "allowing users to frequently engage in fresh entertainment content." Also there are virtual "Furblings" in the app, so that's confusing because I thought Furby was a meatspace thing?

Oh, I just remembered something kind of related: 666.

Here's an excerpt from the press release, that reads like some sort of Lovecraftian horror:

A colorful, bright LED in FURBY CONNECT’S antenna lights up to signal new content has arrived in the app’s theatre. The FURBY CONNECT creature directs a child to the new content and, like a friend, reacts with its own hilarious take on what’s happening on screen. The FURBY CONNECT toy strives to offer the best value by providing a play experience that continuously refreshes and encourages kids to keep connecting.

Do you ever worry your kid isn't good at consuming content? Maybe Furby Connect can help.

Fuby Connect responds to sound and touch. It also knows what time it is. That's pretty creepy right? Apparently this thing will ask for breakfast or a "late-night snack" as if it's some hilarious joke. PLEASE DO NOT FEED FURBY CONNECT.

The internet of things came for our homes, and we said nothing. Will we allow it to destroy our children for the low price of $99.99 on Amazon pre-order?