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What, truly, is the Biēm butter sprayer?

What, truly, is the Biēm butter sprayer?


‘It’s your butter, sprayed’

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Technology is often a double-edged sword. Take the smartphone, for example, which is both a powerful tool to communicate with anyone around the world, but oftentimes a social deterrent. Or Twitter, a revolutionary real-time social network that also is a hotbed of abuse and harassment.

Or the Biēm butter sprayer, which is at once many things both wonderful and terrifying. What is Biēm, you ask?

Biēm is a kitchen utensil that performs a strange alchemy on a stick of butter and turns it into an aerosolized spray to better season your popcorn, grease your pans, or flavor your bread.

Biēm is a gadget that uses advanced technology to spray butter, including an accelerometer to automatically turn it on, a heater to better melt the butter, and an air pump to spray it without requiring pressurized CO2 canisters.

Biēm is a Kickstarter project that was backed almost a year ago. It missed its original release estimate of September 2016 and still has yet to ship to backers after experiencing production issues.

Biēm is a medical nightmare, a device that will make it simple to add more and more butter to our diets when we already consume too many foods that are high in saturated fat.

Biēm is a culinary marvel, a simple way for chefs to add controlled amounts of butter to dishes and simply season frying pans and trays without resorting to margarine or vegetable oil sprays.

Biēm is a butter lover’s dream, an answer to the eternal question of whether everything can be made tastier by adding butter to it.

As I sit here contemplating the Biēm, torn somewhere between horror and amazement at its very existence, I’m left to wonder: will we as a culture ever top this technological achievement? Were the brave engineers at Brevda Inc. too caught up in whether or not they could bring this buttery dream to life to stop and consider if they should? Are we prepared for the smooth, dairy onslaught that the biēm will unleash upon our tables? And can I convince our office manager to get one for the office because now I’m really in the mood for some toast?

The Biēm is available for preorder for $129.99 directly from its website, although no shipping date has yet been announced.