Qualcomm's insane CES 2013 keynote in pictures and tweets

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This is the best story I have EVER read on The Verge. So happy right now.

this happy?

She must be out of Qualcomm’s league…

She must have learned her non-smile from the face of Windows Phone 8: Jessica Alba.

She is insanely awesome!

Except Alba was joyous the whole time..so.

Alice is the only person on stage who seems to realize how shitty the script is.

Shitty script but good twitter heckling by the verge staff. This is like the new age of Statler and Waldorf. I approve and hope to see more of.

The only time the audience actually laughs: http://www.qualcomm.com/ces at 75:44 “yes, that will actually be fun”…Alice Eve…so funny, so awkward, the horror the horror! Thank you Q/C and CES.

Alice Eve is not amused :-)

Well her boyfriend is was the guy who said “and by hot, I mean FUEGO!”

I’m geting a Lichtenstein’s tormented blonde wife vibe from Alice Eve. I feel the inklings of the birth of a meme.

This post is amazing. Im in tears here.

Someone is firing their agent today.

i’m totally amazed.

To end the keynote, Maroon 5 came on stage to do an acoustic set. While it was a nice show for the people in attendance, livestream viewers had a different experience. Presumably because it didn’t have the rights to broadcast Maroon 5’s music, CES instead played silence, and then Dido over the audio track.

it’s like when they were planning this, they had a brainstorming session, and the guy running it just said “yes” to everything.

I’m writing a book:

THE IDIOT’S (AND MULTINATIONAL CORPORATION’S) GUIDE TO VIRAL MARKETING

Its one page consists of the following steps:

1) Brainstorm as many ideas as possible
2) Just say YES to all ideas
3) ?????? (with many three-letter initialisms including OMG LOL and WTF)
4) Profit (because we just can’t not not look away from catastrophe)

You forgot “use the word AWESOME”

BORN MOBILE

Hurry, to the Bornmobile!

Nananananananana Bornman!

I’m Jason Bourne, and this is my Windows Phone.

What’s your problem with Windows Phone bro?

Bornman it is!

Boooorrrrn mobile
As mobile as the wind blooows
As mobile as the grass grooows
Born mobile to follow your heaaarrrt

We’re all talking about Qualcomm though, so in the school of thought that says there’s no such thing as bad publicity, perhaps this was a winner after all…

But..Desmond Tutu….what!?

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