I think I fundamentally misunderstand the purpose of Shipyourenemiesglitter.com, a small website that for 10 bucks will ship your enemy an envelope full of glitter, the tiny, sparkly material that your parents just can't seem to get out of their craft closet. I don't know; that doesn't sound so bad.
Sure, it's tough to get rid of glitter, whether it's embedded in the carpet or stuck on your skin. Why would you want to though? Glitter is the best. In a world of bland neutral tones, glitter is colorful and shiny. Glitter is so wonderful, it inspired the title for Mariah Carey's film. A thin layer of glitter across New York City would go a long way to make its inhabitants not so gloomy every winter. Look at that guy up top. He's covered in glitter and couldn't be happier. That could be us but you playing.
Maybe, beneath their hardened exteriors, the creators of this glitter bomb website are ooey-gooey softies. They use nasty language to conceal their true intentions: to convince the public that sending their enemies glitter is some sort of revenge and not a shimmering, beautifying olive branch. Or maybe it's just a scam.