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It's 2015. Why are we still talking about Will It Blend?

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There was a time, I vaguely recall, when the notion of dropping a prized gadget into a blender and flipping the switch was interesting — even a little provocative, perhaps. It helped that the stunt was orchestrated by an affable older gentleman, Blendtec founder Tom Dickson, who was using the deliberately silly schtick to advertise the potency and durability of his blenders. Each video made the rounds on the blogs, and you moved on.

But that was a very, very long time ago. The dude blended an iPod in 2006. We get it; circuits and metal are effortlessly turned to a toxic powder when you put them in contact with a blade rotating at several thousand revolutions per minute. Besides being an enormous waste, I would venture that blending an Apple Watch, as Dickson just did today, is probably not selling any Blendtecs.

don't blend me bro
An actual thing that appears on

It is, however, getting press.

Together, we can stop Big Blender

Folks, the only way we can stop Big Blender is by shutting it out. When Tom Dickson vaporizes $350 of extremely hard-to-find gear, don't talk about it. Don't link it. Help Blendtec be a better citizen to the environment, common sense, and to our collective sense of empathy (as much as we can empathize with a condemned Apple Watch) by just letting it go. With our effort, perhaps Blendtec can get back to blending food, which is ostensibly the core function of these machines.

Unfortunately, with this post, I've violated all of these proposed rules. Well played, Tom. You win... this time.