How many times have you watched Beyoncé and thought, "I should create a building in her honor"? Architecture firm Elenberg Fraser is reportedly being given real money (presumably in the form of colorful Australian dollars) to build a skyscraper at 134 Spencer Street in Melbourne — a skyscraper whose "spiraling curves recall the twists and turns of a woman dancing in black cloth."
That official description for Premiere Tower, mind you, links to the Beyoncé "Ghost" video, which the firm explicitly namechecks a few times. "We know you'll agree that when you hear the phrase ‘less is more,' the first person that springs to mind is Beyoncé. No?" The more reassuringly scientific description:
This project is the culmination of our significant research into how to best work with individual site and climatic constraints, brought together using our new parametric modeling techniques. The complex form — a vertical cantilever — is actually the most effective way to redistribute the building's mass, giving the best results in terms of structural dispersion, frequency oscillation and wind requirements. Art and science? You betcha. For those more on the art than science side, we will reveal that the form does pay homage to something more aesthetic - we're going to trust you've seen the music video for Beyoncé's Ghost.
According to Dezeen, the final product will feature 660 apartments, a 160-room hotel, and a number of retail stores. No word on estimated completion date.
But again, let's talk Beyoncé. Here, we'll start:
Loren Grush: From the top of the tower, I can see your halo.
Ross Miller: Each residential unit will feature additional storage units to the left, to the left of the front door.
Arielle Duhaime-Ross: It's nice to see a tower that doesn't look like a penis.
Vlad Savov: You can now legitimately say, "I want to live in Beyonce's butt."
Dieter Bohn: It's kind of wavy? I don't think you're ready for this jelly-inspired skyscraper.
Chris Plante: If you like it, then you better put parking in it.
Ross: Too easy. Let me know when someone designs a tower based on "Single Ladies."
Kaitlyn Tiffany: If you live in this building you'll pretty much always wake up in the kitchen wondering how the hell this shit happened.
Leah Christians: Front door: flawless. Lobby: flawless. Front desk: flawless. Elevator: flawless.
Plante: A condo in this building costs bills, bills, bills.
Ross: It's irre-plaza-ble (note: almost a real title)