Universally, pigeons are regarded as the winged rats of any urban city, and for good reason! They're dirty, they carry disease, and they poop on you at the most inopportune of times because they can smell fear. Personally, I think a lot of this hate is undeserved considering how many times they've brought me joy. I laugh every time I see one waddling around, their bobbing heads too big for their dumb, poorly-balanced bodies.
I have probably done terrible damage to a pigeon's self-esteem. But would people, myself included, treat pigeons better if they were slightly more... elegant? That's the question I was asking myself when my world was turned upside down by this one tweet:
i learned about maltese pigeons today pic.twitter.com/VnzXhnRynN— clove! (@cloveochai) June 13, 2016
That graceful neck! Those legs that just won't quit! That... je ne sais quoi!!
Remember that 30 Rock episode where Jon Hamm coasts through life because he lives in a Handsome Bubble? Beautiful things just get treated better in this world, and Maltese pigeons are the Jon Hamms of the pigeon world.
they're so... pic.twitter.com/S1AHPF0OzY— clove! (@cloveochai) June 13, 2016
"I always get sparkling water when the waiter gives me a choice between tap and sparkling. I don't even ask if it's complimentary, that's how fancy I am."
This is the America's Next Top Model cycle 19 runner-up of pigeons. She's got the It Factor, baby. Get this pigeon a photoshoot with noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker, stat!
It's very important to me that everyone knows about Maltese pigeons. And because the fastest way to spread information is through internet memes, I have made some here for your viewing pleasure.
When she says "I don't date guys under 6 feet" pic.twitter.com/gZvUIQWpDR— Dami Lee (@dami_lee) June 14, 2016
get you a pigeon that can do both pic.twitter.com/sHKxTJx3ep— Dami Lee (@dami_lee) June 14, 2016