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Stephen King and classic love songs are a match made in hell

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Love is gross

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Photo: Butcher Billy

Most classic love songs are extremely creepy, particularly the ones that are written about or “for” women. I don’t need to remind you of the lyrics of The Police’s “Every Breath You Take” but I will:

Every single day

Every word you say

Every game you play

Every night you stay

I'll be watching you

Oh can't you see

You belong to me

My god.

Should we do another one? How about The Smiths’ “There is a Light That Never Goes Out,” admittedly a beautiful song that everyone loves.

And if a 10-ton truck

Kills the both of us

To die by your side

Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine

That’s too much! But I get it — it’s hard to know what to do with your emotions beyond the natural first instinct, which is to drive them off a cliff.

On that note, as spotted by Laughing Squid, an artist and graphic designer who calls himself, fittingly, Butcher Billy has created a series of imagined Stephen King book covers (and VHS sleeves) based on popular love songs from the ‘70s and ‘80s. You can order them on T-shirts and they’re also available as prints. You know, because maybe T-shirts depicting severed limbs don’t fall under your company’s dress code.

Photo: Butcher Billy
Photo: Butcher Billy
Photo: Butcher Billy
Photo: Butcher Billy
Photo: Butcher Billy

Stephen King has built his career and fortune off of his curiosity about the full range of disgusting things that normal people are capable of, and the same can be said about artists who write love songs. This is the rare mash-up that makes perfect sense.

Billy’s website notes that he is taking song suggestions for this series. Humbly, I’d like to submit the most unsettling love song of all time: