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Dear Spider-Man, we need to talk about your backpack hoarding

Dear Spider-Man, we need to talk about your backpack hoarding


How did you lose 55 bags?

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Spider-Man, we need to talk about your backpack collectibles. There are simply far too many in your new PlayStation 4 adventure.

Scattering random objects around the city to force players to explore an open world is nothing new. In fact, you actually handle the system well, clearly and openly telling players exactly where they can find each and every backpack, and inciting the exploration by rewarding players with fun suits and cool upgrades. Plus, there’s fun lore contained in each bag.

But I have to ask: why on earth do you, Peter Parker, have 55 backpacks? And how did you manage to lose them across the entire city for almost a decade?

As the game exposits early on when introducing the bag scavenger hunt, you put an RFID tracker in all of them so they show up on the in-game map. Again, Spider-Man, you put a tracking system in your bags. One of them even contains an additional “Spider Tracker” gizmo.

Peter. My dude. You cannot lose 55 bags if they have a tracking system in them. That is not lost. That is just using New York City as a personal closet for storing your odd collection of identical backpacks.

Now, I understand you live a busy life. Superhero work can pop up at a moment’s notice. Maybe you had to stick a bag to the side of a building so you could swing into action. And since your work-life balance is as out of whack as is it, between visiting Aunt May and saving the city, I get that you might not have time to pick it up before class the following week, which requires you to purchase a new bag.

You cannot lose 55 bags if there’s a tracking system in each one

But 55 times? An average JanSport backpack costs around $36. That’s $1,980 worth of bags! Later in the game, you lose your apartment because you fell behind on rent. Bet that bag money would have come in handy then, huh?

So please, Peter. I’m begging you. On behalf of your family, the people of New York, and really, yourself: keep better track of your backpacks.