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If you want to buy a decommissioned nuclear reactor control panel, I’ve found one for you

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Shipping is probably going to suck

Philippsburg nuclear power plant - blasting the cooling towers Photo by Sebastian Gollnow/picture alliance via Getty Images

The internet is a magical place, somewhere where you can, for the right price, get anything you want. And if that something is a decommissioned nuclear reactor control panel — well, have I got some good news for you!

Today, author Warren Ellis posted on his blog about an auction being held in England where one of the lots for sale was a decommissioned nuclear reactor control panel. Yes, this thing:

If you’ve seen the hit miniseries Chernobyl or ever looked up pics of nuclear reactors online, this should look pretty familiar. And it’s gorgeous! Look at all those CRTs, that industrially gray metal, the huge number of knobs and dials that actually did something, probably, at one time. Who wouldn’t want it?

The best part is that bids are currently hovering around 100 British pounds, which is exceedingly reasonable for an item used inside a nuclear reactor. (I mean, think of how many taxpayer dollars were spent on the thing in the first place.)

The only problem I can think of is figuring out shipping. Although, I suppose if you’re in the business of collecting decommissioned parts of power plants, you’ve probably got a guy who can do it. The auction runs until June 2nd, so you still have a few days to figure out where to put your new (old) decommissioned nuclear reactor control panel.

Good luck, and may the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. And yes, in case you were wondering: this is, indeed, cyberpunk.