Skip to main content

H. Moser’s latest Apple Watch troll is a next-level $30,800 Vantablack loading wheel

H. Moser’s latest Apple Watch troll is a next-level $30,800 Vantablack loading wheel


Years of trolling have culminated in this

Share this story

Swiss watchmaker H. Moser has returned with another cheeky spin on the iconic Apple Watch design with the Swiss Alp Watch Final Upgrade. It’s a $30,800 Vantablack-infused creation that mocks not just Apple’s design but the loading wheel found on Apple’s macOS, iOS, and watchOS products, via Hodinkee.

“No updates required, no lousy autonomy, no unnecessary features, no annoying notifications, just the only reminder you ever really need: To disconnect from all the noise and cherish each and every moment,” Moser boasts.

Moser has been making its Alp Watch series of Apple Watch-esque timepieces for years, going back to the original model (which launched a few months after Apple’s original smartwatch). The company is known for its edgy design choices in the watchmaking world: at one point, it created a watch made of actual Swiss cheese in protest of watchmaking standards, for instance.

Image: H. Moser

Since 2016, Moser has released several variants on its Alp Watch in a variety of colors and materials. But the Swiss Alp Watch Final Upgrade model (as the name implies) is apparently the final time the company will be poking fun at the folks in Cupertino.

The Final Upgrade model might be the most entertaining of all the pastiches, though, with a Vantablack face (which absorbs 99.965 percent of visible light) that promises to be an even darker black than even the “true blacks” of Apple’s OLED panels. The hands of the watch are actually also black; they just don’t look it in comparison.

But the cleverest aspect is the “loading wheel” at the 6 o’clock position that apes Apple’s boot indicator. The wheel is actually a fully functional mechanical second hand indicator. It’s comprised of cutouts in the Vantablack face, behind which the rotating gradient second hand wheel creates the loading effect.

For all the lightheartedness, though, the Swiss Alp Watch Final Upgrade is a serious piece of hardware: Moser is still a top-tier watchmaking company, and the hand-wound HMC 324 Manufacture movement inside is an incredible piece of machinery.

The H. Moser Swiss Alp Watch Final Upgrade is a limited edition model, with just 50 pieces planned — if you can afford the $30,800 price tag.